Wheelmen Owner Issues Stern Warning To Players

At a press conference today at the downtown Wheelmen offices on Elm Street, Westfield Wheelmen Owner Anheiser Van Pilsner issued a strong warning to players who report to winter camp next month not in relitively decent shape. "It's no secret that the boys are well known to over-indulge in fine food and gaiety...in fact its legendary and with the holiday season here I am very concerned," noted Van Pilsner. "That being the case I have issued the following requirements ALL players much achieve when reporting to winter camp. Each player must be able to do 10 push-up, 10 sit-ups and 10 deep knee bends." Van Pilsner closed the press conference noting that Christmas bonus checks will be mailed Monday.

Wheelmen Seek Out Original Vintage Hurler

The above image is from the first SI in 1954 and the caption says John "Scissors" McIlvaine, age 71, pitched successfully in a sandlot game. The 71 year old had pitched in 800 games since 1899. "In our ever growing desire to be as close as possible to representing the game from the 19th Century, we are searching for 'Scissors' and hope he can pitch a game or two for us in 2010," said Westfield Wheelmen owner Anheiser Van Pilsner, "he will be a true link to the past...something we desperately need. 'Hitman' Hewins is close but I think this would be the real deal." Unfortunately, "Scissors" would be 127 by now...slightly older than "Hitman" or "Hitmin"...depending on how you pronounce it.